I felt like...

... Crying when I was left alone. In fact, I was supposed to feel happy, to get plenty of rest and enjoy the serenity at home... Guess I was just not so positive at the moment...

What had saddened me further would be seeing Phoebe left alone on her oversized BB cot. In fact, I was supposed to feel happy, that she was not disturbed... And enjoying the quietness in the house...

Visitors came... I was humbled that they visited the babies... But to chat so loudly that the nap of my girl was interrupted, my rest was interrupted... And nobody attempting to the little one when she was crying loudly... For someone to please change her soiled diaper... And not just stood there to watch her cry...

I felt absolutely useless and sometimes helpless... Despite this overcrowded space... I wish I could be more positive... Perhaps it's hormones...

Phoebe is my second girl, seeing her was like seeing myself 30 years ago, when I was just a baby... I was told that I was also a quiet little girl but I supposed I wasn't so disregarded by my grandparents... Perhaps i was, too, just that i didn't know... But now I know...

Baby wouldn't know... But that's not going to be okay... Baby fed with formulas is way different from the past... Something's need not be said but could always be felt deeply in the heart... I wish I could do more for my girl...